February 22, 2010

The Gift of Babies

Monday, February 22, 2010 Posted by Mary , 8 comments


I'm sitting in the classroom right now while my students are working on an exercise and I notice that one of them has brought a toddler to class. The little girl is about 3 years old, is extremely adorable, and has made me ponder about... babies.

I am amazed at how over the years, my perception of babies/children has changed so dramatically. Growing up as an only child, I was never surrounded by kids, and I always felt disconnected with them. It awed me when people were able to immediately bond with children who were not their own, because I always felt that I didn't know how to act around them and that they did not like me. As I reached my middle twenties, however, things started to change.

I must have reached the point that most women come to at some time in their lives. I suddenly started to like babies. I wanted to play with them, and most especially, hug them! I suddenly discovered that there is something wondrously beautiful about hugging babies.

I want to have children eventually, but I have to admit that I am in no way ready to have babies of my own at the moment. I'd want to enjoy being with my partner/husband first before I'd want to accept the responsibility of raising children. How I wish, though, that time did not give women limits to that!

I applaud women who have accidentally gotten pregnant but have chosen to keep their babies despite the risk of being stigmatized by society. I am pro-choice, but I believe that babies are gifts from God. There is nothing to be ashamed of with getting pregnant out of wedlock. Children are a blessing, and they will always be that no matter what time, age, or circumstance you have them.

February 18, 2010

Someday

Thursday, February 18, 2010 Posted by Mary , , 3 comments
I am amazed by the beauty of this song:




Thank you, MLTR, for the much-needed inspiration. This song keeps me holding on.

February 15, 2010

And...

Monday, February 15, 2010 Posted by Mary , No comments
...just like that.



I feel like a light in me has been extinguished; like the very thing that I was holding on to and was keeping me afloat is no longer there.

February 10, 2010

Make Believe

Wednesday, February 10, 2010 Posted by Mary 3 comments
Have you ever played an MMORPG?

Before 2008, I didn't even know what an MMORPG was. I grew up on the Internet but was never able to explore online gaming. That all changed when an ad for a game caught my eye on one of the websites I was surfing. Maybe I was just bored, but there must have been something appealing about the pictures I saw on the ad because I downloaded the game and signed up. This was in January 2008. Little did I know at that time that for the coming year, I'd get hooked on the game and practically do nothing else during my free time but play. The name of the game was Tales of Pirates.

Tales of Pirates (ToP)  is a 3D game that was developed by a Chinese company and produced by Internet Gaming Gate (IGG). It's the "western" counterpart of the Chinese/Singaporean Pirate King Online; western meaning most people playing are Europeans, Americans, and Latinos. I loved ToP because unlike most other MMORPGs, the fantasy world was bright, the avatars looked like real people, and the costumes were so pretty, I felt like I was playing dress-up with a Barbie doll.

Never having any type of online gaming experience before I played ToP, I was a total noob. The first character I created was a hunter. A hunter's main weapon is a bow, and can become a gun-wielding sharpshooter upon reaching level 40. I messed up the stats of my character at first because I did not know what I was doing, but she eventually became stronger as she leveled up, mainly because of the item mall points I was buying. Yes, I bought quite a lot of item mall points, and even though I regret doing that now, at the time I was playing, it made sense. Four months after I started, Avaya, my character, was able to get into one of the strongest guilds on the server.


Avaya the Sharpshooter
Guild: Smurfs


With a strong guild backing you up, you can do everything in a game. You get to dominate mazes and kill monsters that drop the best loot. Annoyed that sharpshooters died in battles really easily, I rebirthed Avaya into a cleric, with the help of my guild. Clerics are healers and magic dealers whose main weapon is a staff. Although not high-damagers, they are quite strong and are indispensable because they can heal, buff, and revive. Avaya was the first character to rebirth as another class (from sharpshooter to cleric) on the server I was playing at.


Avaya the Rebirthed Cleric
Guild: Phoenix


When you become powerful, however, and stop being a noob, things get complicated. It was awesome to be with the strongest people on my server, but for me, things slowly started to stop being fun, especially since I eventually became a guild leader myself. Everything started to be about responsibility. There were raids to organize, credits to calculate, and disputes to settle. The desire for my guild to succeed against our enemies (another strong guild with rich people who bought tons and tons of mall points to strengthen their characters) haunted me almost all day, even when I wasn't playing. What made it worse was the fact that in an online world, people can do dirty things they might not have the guts to do in real life. The politics was stressful; the deceit of people really disappointing. I soon wanted to no longer have any part of it. In December of 2008, I quit playing.

I realized that if you're playing an online game, it's so easy to believe in an alternate world which soon becomes your reality. It's not like playing Mario where you play against a computer. You interact with real people. Friendships and connections are formed, that's why you have to be careful about how involved you want to be. A lot of the people you meet in these games are just there to advance their character no matter what. These are usually the people I do not like. But in all fairness, I've also met wonderful online friends on ToP who I still remain friends with until now. Talking with one of them caused me to re-download the game client again the other day, just to see what was going on. I was pleasantly surprised with what I was met with. Old friends gave Avaya such a warm welcome, and people who have not met her before but have heard of her gushed about finally being able to meet her. LOL. It was heart-warming.

I will probably not be actively playing again--there are so wonderful things going on in my real life right now that need to be nurtured--but I guess I can still hang out in that alternate universe from time to time, to talk with friends and enjoy its 3D world. And if in any case you find yourself playing Tales of Pirates (not that I'd recommend an MMO to anyone, haha), don't hesitate to look for Avaya in the Coral Isle of Dream Island.


rebirth - a game feature that allows you to change the class and stats of your character; 
available only to level 75 characters and above, after performing a series of arduous quests

February 3, 2010

Learning Christ

Wednesday, February 03, 2010 Posted by Mary , No comments
This is a prayer that was shared to me by a close friend a few years back. I hope it inspires you as much as it inspired me. 



Learning Christ

Teach me, my Lord, to be sweet and gentle in all the events of life: in disappointments, in the thoughtlessness of others, in the insincerity of those I trusted, in the unfaithfulness of those on whom I relied. Let me put myself aside, to think of the happiness of others, to hide my little pains and heartaches, so that I may be the only one to suffer from them. Teach me to profit by the suffering that comes across my path. Let me so use it that it may mellow me, not harden nor embitter me; that it may make me patient, not irritable, that it may make me broad in my forgiveness, not narrow, haughty and overbearing. May no one be less good for having come within my influence. No one less pure, less noble for having been a fellow traveler in our journey toward eternal life. As I go my rounds from one distraction to another, let me whisper, from time to time, a word of love to You. May my life be lived in the supernatural, full of power for good, and strong in its purpose of sanctity. Amen.