Temporary Fix

Why do people get drunk?

The last time I got drunk was in September last year with close friends in Dakak. It was actually also the first time I got totally wasted. I've been a social drinker for a few years, but I've never been more than just a little bit tipsy. After having tried out the feeling of being intoxicated and having a ridiculous hangover, I swore I'd never do it again. The people I hang out with most frequently now do not like to drink as well, so abstaining has been easy. Tonight however, I write this entry with more than 10 glasses of Red Horse in me, which I drank during a friend's graduation party.

Why did I drink? I feel guilty for doing so, because I'm the one who had to drive home. When certain things are bothering me about my life however--like now--it's easy to drink. Because even for a short moment, I want to be free of my heartaches. I want to feel less, smile more, or conjure up the courage to do something I normally would not be able to do without the influence of alcohol. It's the coward's way of doing things, but it gets me there, it gets us there. For a time.

Unfortunately, getting drunk bites you in the end. Alcohol is a depressant, so when you get sober, you're going to be worse than when you started. It's also very likely that you're going to end up with a bad hangover, so who knows if it's really worth it? I might have gotten a fix for a few minutes, or even a few hours, but none of my problems got solved. In fact, I got even more problems... because it's almost 3 am, I'm starting to get a headache, and I need to wake up early tomorrow for  a 7:30 appointment. I don't know if I'll be able to wake up on time. Really, good luck to me with that!

It's easy to stay away from alcohol. What's difficult is to stay away from the reasons that make me want to drink. Basically, I need to learn not to let my heartaches get to me so much. That, is damn near impossible, though. Boo for being Scorpio.