What Was, What Is To Be

It is 9 days into the new year and I am feeling positive--this is despite the glitches I've already had this 2010. For one, I started the New Year miserably. Last December 31, I was again the recipient of my mom's lovely temper tantrum, because I took more time than I should have going around the city looking for an ATM and doing last minute grocery shopping for New Year's Eve dinner. In the PMS state that I was in that night, I cancelled all plans, including inviting a friend over to our house to ring in the new year. Half an hour before 2009 ended, I turned off the lights in my room, crawled into bed, and welcomed the new year curled up in a ball half asleep with tears running down my cheeks.

If I believed in superstitions, I should be very afraid, because how you welcome the new year is supposedly how you are going to spend the entire year. But for some strange reason, I'm not afraid. Despite not being able to ring in 2010 with loud noises and good cheer, I was able to attend Mass on January 1, which has made me feel blessed and confident. I guess I am finally believing that God is the ultimate mover in my life, and He's telling me that everything will be okay--and that 2010 will be better than 2009.

To be fair to the year that passed, 2009 was not completely bad. In fact, it was a very colorful year. The colors were so vivid, however; the highs and lows so extreme, that it was difficult not to be affected deep in the gut. Bittersweet would be the best word to describe it. It was the kind of year that gave you a lot of lessons; the kind of year whose joys you wish you could keep forever, whose heartaches you wish you'd never experience again.

I feel good for 2010 because I think in my mind that God could not possibly give me a more difficult year than He just did, right? That's probably not true, though. Harder times are possibly yet to come, but I rest assured in the knowledge that no matter what obstacles I face, I will be able to get past them with His help. Everything is His will, and all events happening in my life are leading up to His ultimate plan for me. There is no need to fret. I only need to be thankful for all the joys the pains I've had in the past that have turned me into a stronger person, to pray for what the future has to bring, and most especially,  to appreciate the people I currently have in my life--people who I know are His gifts to me, one of whom is making me especially happy.