Make Believe

Have you ever played an MMORPG?

Before 2008, I didn't even know what an MMORPG was. I grew up on the Internet but was never able to explore online gaming. That all changed when an ad for a game caught my eye on one of the websites I was surfing. Maybe I was just bored, but there must have been something appealing about the pictures I saw on the ad because I downloaded the game and signed up. This was in January 2008. Little did I know at that time that for the coming year, I'd get hooked on the game and practically do nothing else during my free time but play. The name of the game was Tales of Pirates.

Tales of Pirates (ToP)  is a 3D game that was developed by a Chinese company and produced by Internet Gaming Gate (IGG). It's the "western" counterpart of the Chinese/Singaporean Pirate King Online; western meaning most people playing are Europeans, Americans, and Latinos. I loved ToP because unlike most other MMORPGs, the fantasy world was bright, the avatars looked like real people, and the costumes were so pretty, I felt like I was playing dress-up with a Barbie doll.

Never having any type of online gaming experience before I played ToP, I was a total noob. The first character I created was a hunter. A hunter's main weapon is a bow, and can become a gun-wielding sharpshooter upon reaching level 40. I messed up the stats of my character at first because I did not know what I was doing, but she eventually became stronger as she leveled up, mainly because of the item mall points I was buying. Yes, I bought quite a lot of item mall points, and even though I regret doing that now, at the time I was playing, it made sense. Four months after I started, Avaya, my character, was able to get into one of the strongest guilds on the server.

Avaya the Sharpshooter
Guild: Smurfs

With a strong guild backing you up, you can do everything in a game. You get to dominate mazes and kill monsters that drop the best loot. Annoyed that sharpshooters died in battles really easily, I rebirthed Avaya into a cleric, with the help of my guild. Clerics are healers and magic dealers whose main weapon is a staff. Although not high-damagers, they are quite strong and are indispensable because they can heal, buff, and revive. Avaya was the first character to rebirth as another class (from sharpshooter to cleric) on the server I was playing at.

Avaya the Rebirthed Cleric
Guild: Phoenix

When you become powerful, however, and stop being a noob, things get complicated. It was awesome to be with the strongest people on my server, but for me, things slowly started to stop being fun, especially since I eventually became a guild leader myself. Everything started to be about responsibility. There were raids to organize, credits to calculate, and disputes to settle. The desire for my guild to succeed against our enemies (another strong guild with rich people who bought tons and tons of mall points to strengthen their characters) haunted me almost all day, even when I wasn't playing. What made it worse was the fact that in an online world, people can do dirty things they might not have the guts to do in real life. The politics was stressful; the deceit of people really disappointing. I soon wanted to no longer have any part of it. In December of 2008, I quit playing.

I realized that if you're playing an online game, it's so easy to believe in an alternate world which soon becomes your reality. It's not like playing Mario where you play against a computer. You interact with real people. Friendships and connections are formed, that's why you have to be careful about how involved you want to be. A lot of the people you meet in these games are just there to advance their character no matter what. These are usually the people I do not like. But in all fairness, I've also met wonderful online friends on ToP who I still remain friends with until now. Talking with one of them caused me to re-download the game client again the other day, just to see what was going on. I was pleasantly surprised with what I was met with. Old friends gave Avaya such a warm welcome, and people who have not met her before but have heard of her gushed about finally being able to meet her. LOL. It was heart-warming.

I will probably not be actively playing again--there are so wonderful things going on in my real life right now that need to be nurtured--but I guess I can still hang out in that alternate universe from time to time, to talk with friends and enjoy its 3D world. And if in any case you find yourself playing Tales of Pirates (not that I'd recommend an MMO to anyone, haha), don't hesitate to look for Avaya in the Coral Isle of Dream Island.

rebirth - a game feature that allows you to change the class and stats of your character; 
available only to level 75 characters and above, after performing a series of arduous quests

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Learning Christ

This is a prayer that was shared to me by a close friend a few years back. I hope it inspires you as much as it inspired me. 

Learning Christ

Teach me, my Lord, to be sweet and gentle in all the events of life: in disappointments, in the thoughtlessness of others, in the insincerity of those I trusted, in the unfaithfulness of those on whom I relied. Let me put myself aside, to think of the happiness of others, to hide my little pains and heartaches, so that I may be the only one to suffer from them. Teach me to profit by the suffering that comes across my path. Let me so use it that it may mellow me, not harden nor embitter me; that it may make me patient, not irritable, that it may make me broad in my forgiveness, not narrow, haughty and overbearing. May no one be less good for having come within my influence. No one less pure, less noble for having been a fellow traveler in our journey toward eternal life. As I go my rounds from one distraction to another, let me whisper, from time to time, a word of love to You. May my life be lived in the supernatural, full of power for good, and strong in its purpose of sanctity. Amen.

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Mahal Kita Kasi

"Pustiso ka ba kasi... I really, really can't smile without you."

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I Wanna Know What Love Is

On Valentine's Day last year, I posted the verses about love as found in the Bible, in the first letter of St. Paul to the Corinthians. And just a few hours ago at Sunday mass, I found it fitting that those same verses would be the second reading, on the day before the beginning of the love month.

The priest, talking about the said verses during the homily, caught my undivided attention (a rare feat, mind you). He talked about how people refer to love in a way that doesn't give it justice, and how we often say we love someone without really knowing what it means. He's right. After all, how many of us know the real meaning of love? In a previous entry, I shared a quote about how we confuse love with a lot of ugly things. And it's true. Love--the romantic kind, for example--is very easy to confuse with infatuation, obsession, and especially with lust. Heck, I've confused other things with love for a huge part of my life. If I belted out I Wanna Know What Love Is in the past, I sure did mean it! I really wanted to know the answer.

So when do you know then, if you really love someone? It's quite simple, actually, and the answer is right there in Corinthians:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

When you trust a person, accept them completely for everything that they are, and wish (and work) for their betterment and happiness without expecting anything in return no matter how hard that is to do... then that's when you'll know that you really and truly love someone.

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Let Me Write the Words

When I was younger, I used to want to be a writer. It comes with the love of reading, I guess. I read so much when I was in elementary and high school, that I couldn't help but dream that someday, I'd be an author of something just like what I was reading. I remember writing for our school paper, and at some point I was even the Editor-in-Chief. When I was thinking of what program to take up in college, I seriously considered Creative Writing. But I took up Information Technology, and after that I never looked back. Everything literary in my life seemed to have been overtaken with the big T word: technology.

Where have those days gone to? I remember keeping a journal where I wrote my poems and stories. I think I came up with 8 poems that I was proud of. I even practiced writing my own "teen novel." Alas, I don't know where to find that journal now, and the person who wrote those things feels like someone else. I even find it interesting that I was chosen as Portal 2007's (the yearbook of Silliman University) Features Editor. How did they I know I was a (frustrated) writer? I sure don't feel like one.

I badly want to write again. Someone is inspiring me to write, and I feel like there are so many things happening in my life that I could write about. I also desperately want to submit something for Dark Blue Southern Seas 2010 (the literary folio of The Weekly Sillimanian), never mind if it doesn't get published. But nothing is coming out. I don't know how to start whatever it is I want to write, and I know I'm afraid to create fiction because it might come too close to reality and everyone would see what was in my heart.

Pffft.

I guess it all boils down to one thing--I am chicken. Deep inside, I'm really still very much afraid to express myself, which is something I really hate. I guess this is because of the innate Scorpio in me who's scared to reveal everything. Writing can be daunting because it is not just about imagination and putting words together, after all. When you write, you put yourself out there. You actually bare your soul for the world to see.

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Nickelback and Me

We all know Nickelback--we've heard their songs. But have you listened to their lyrics closely? I've only done so recently, and since then, I got totally hooked. Rock has always been one of my favorite music genres and I love how, in Nickelback, I am able to find a rock band that's able to integrate meaningful aspects of life into their music.

Here are some of my favorite lyrics:

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died 
-- From If Everyone Cared

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
-- From If Today Was Your Last Day

I don't know about you, but their songs certainly make me ponder about my life and the world we live in. They just have that effect on me. Aside from the lyrics, I love their sound as well. I have a Nickelback playlist on my iPod, and it gets me through my cardio at the gym. No more Chris Brown for me nowadays!

My absolute favorite among their songs right now would be Never Gonna Be Alone. I think it's beautiful--I just can't get it out of my mind!

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Fly Me to the Mooon

Ever since Robinsons Place opened in Dumaguete, I've become such a huge maller. I love going there to eat, shop, watch movies, or even just walk around. I've even coined a phrase with my friends that, "Everyday is Robinsons day." Haha.

One of my favorite shops to visit at Robinsons is Mooon Cafe, a local branch of the Mexican restaurant popularized in Cebu. I think I'm addicted to the place! I'm not really a huge fan of Mexican food, but their steaks are just so darn good (to me, at least--and also considering the fairly affordable prices)!

I have been going to Mooon every Sunday for the past three weeks with my mom after we go to church. Last Tuesday night, I was also there with three wonderful friends. We had a blast! I know I always have an amazing time when I'm with these three people, but the ambience at Mooon just makes it all the more conducive for bonding. With multi-colored tables and chairs, and interesting ornaments, the place is colorful, fun, and totally cozy!

Needless to say, I'm looking forward to more good times at this restaurant. So, uh, yes. Please fly me to the Mooon!

(I apologize for the bad quality of the pictures--they were taken with my phone. And yes, that night out made me realize that I do need to bring my camera with me all the time... which, by the way, I still have not been doing.)

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I Got Faked!

The other day, I paid for something at Cellutrim, the gym where I work out. Imagine my surprise this morning when the owner told me that one of the one-thousand peso (approximately USD 21) bills I gave them was fake!

I always hear about fake money, but I've never been victimized before, so I've never really been cautious about the money coming into my hands. My money is always coming from the bank (and not from other people) so I've never been worried. This said fake bill however, was also from the bank. It could either have come from a local branch of RCBC where I had my salary check encashed, or from a BPI ATM where I made a withdrawal. I did not have any other source of money in the past week, so the fact still remains that the fake money came from a bank.

 Tsk. Goodbye, one thousand pesos.

I have no way of proving where this money came from so I don't think there's anything I can do. But let this be a warning to everyone. Just because your money comes from the bank doesn't mean you're safe. I've talked to friends, and apparently, this happens all the time. So check your one-thousand or five-hundred peso bills the moment you receive them. It is inconvenient especially if you're dealing with a considerable amount of money, but it's necessary. The fake bill I have is obviously fake when I look at it. The colors are duller, the paper is crumpled, and it's even smaller than the real one. I just didn't bother to check because I had too much trust in banks.

This was a lesson learned the hard way... but meh. God sees the evil things people do. I'm sure the perpetrators of things like these will get their karma eventually... or go to hell... or something.

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The Truth About Love

I found this quote randomly on Facebook today. I wholeheartedly agree with it, that's why I wanted to share it with you.

Everyone says love hurts, but that isn't true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.

 Isn't it absolutely true?

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What Was, What Is To Be

It is 9 days into the new year and I am feeling positive--this is despite the glitches I've already had this 2010. For one, I started the New Year miserably. Last December 31, I was again the recipient of my mom's lovely temper tantrum, because I took more time than I should have going around the city looking for an ATM and doing last minute grocery shopping for New Year's Eve dinner. In the PMS state that I was in that night, I cancelled all plans, including inviting a friend over to our house to ring in the new year. Half an hour before 2009 ended, I turned off the lights in my room, crawled into bed, and welcomed the new year curled up in a ball half asleep with tears running down my cheeks.

If I believed in superstitions, I should be very afraid, because how you welcome the new year is supposedly how you are going to spend the entire year. But for some strange reason, I'm not afraid. Despite not being able to ring in 2010 with loud noises and good cheer, I was able to attend Mass on January 1, which has made me feel blessed and confident. I guess I am finally believing that God is the ultimate mover in my life, and He's telling me that everything will be okay--and that 2010 will be better than 2009.

To be fair to the year that passed, 2009 was not completely bad. In fact, it was a very colorful year. The colors were so vivid, however; the highs and lows so extreme, that it was difficult not to be affected deep in the gut. Bittersweet would be the best word to describe it. It was the kind of year that gave you a lot of lessons; the kind of year whose joys you wish you could keep forever, whose heartaches you wish you'd never experience again.

I feel good for 2010 because I think in my mind that God could not possibly give me a more difficult year than He just did, right? That's probably not true, though. Harder times are possibly yet to come, but I rest assured in the knowledge that no matter what obstacles I face, I will be able to get past them with His help. Everything is His will, and all events happening in my life are leading up to His ultimate plan for me. There is no need to fret. I only need to be thankful for all the joys the pains I've had in the past that have turned me into a stronger person, to pray for what the future has to bring, and most especially,  to appreciate the people I currently have in my life--people who I know are His gifts to me, one of whom is making me especially happy.

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