Open Your Eyes

I do not watch Oprah regularly. But on the two times I remembered to watch her show recently (the most recent being last night), they were showing the episodes that were a part of her special, Inside the Minds of Child Molesters. Two different instances, same topic--as if some higher power really wanted me to catch these episodes.

The issue of child molestation has become so close to my heart recently, and watching these episodes on Oprah... I felt like I needed to do something. I don't think I'll ever be in peace until I blog about it--thus, this post.

But I do not even know where to start.

How can I talk about this topic without the risk of offending a victim? How can anyone who has not been subjected to the pain and suffering claim to understand? But at the same time, if we all turn a blind eye to it, how will we able to stop future abuse from happening? And it is happening. Here is the staggering truth according to Wikipedia:

Approximately 15% to 25% of women and 5% to 15% of men were sexually abused when they were children. Most sexual abuse offenders are acquainted with their victims; approximately 30% are relatives of the child, most often brothers, fathers, uncles or cousins; around 60% are other acquaintances such as 'friends' of the family, babysitters, or neighbors; strangers are the offenders in approximately 10% of child sexual abuse cases. Most child sexual abuse is committed by men; studies show that women commit 14% to 40% of offenses reported against boys and 6% of offenses reported against girls. Most offenders who sexually abuse prepubescent children are pedophiles although some offenders do not meet the clinical diagnosis standards for pedophilia.

In the United States, there is an increasing awareness on child sexual abuse issues, as evident in the Oprah special. But I am worried about the Philippines. The victims are innocent children--they do not know better. They cannot/do not tell, perpetrators do not get caught... and what's worst is that there doesn't seem to be much awareness about the issue itself. In a society that prides itself on being happy-go-lucky, people do not tend to dwell on not-so-happy things. I do not see or hear a lot about the general population trying to talk about or address this dangerous problem. Parents especially, need to be on the lookout, because they are the first line of defense. Only in opening our eyes and educating our children can we put a stop to this.

Asked by Oprah what he thinks he did to his victim, one of the child molesters she was interviewing replied, "I killed the person she could have been." Heartbreaking... and true. Child molestation is a very serious problem that brings so much pain, confusion, and suffering to millions of people around the world. I know I'm not an expert, but to every sexual abuse survivor who gets to read this, please believe that it was not your fault. Please do not make the mistake of thinking you are to blame for the disrespect that was done to you. You were only a child and there was nothing you could have done. But you are not a lesser person because of it. You were, still are, and always will be precious, especially to the people who love you.

To support the fight against child sexual abuse and exploitation in the Philippines, visit the Stairway Foundation Inc.